I came across this article and felt it spoke a lot to me.
Not that I’m earning $600,000 per episode like Ellen Pompeo, or have a status as the highest paid actress in Hollywood, but I’ve been thinking about this question of a relatively more stable life, versus doing something different.
A lot of it stems from unhappiness at work because I feel disrespected. I find certain things really unfair. My ego is taking a hit, although few people at work might know I actually have one.
I want to leave, but of course it’s not that easy with the current job market and of course there is a lot of mental barrier to overcome.
I slog my guts out for this job, but at least it’s something familiar to me. It pays the bills. I feel indignant about certain things, but at least there are still a few good people I am thankful for.
I’ve been trying to adjust myself and my attitude, focusing on my area of control. It’s hard, it’s energy draining, and I’m not sure when I should just stop trying altogether and simply unleash it.
Maybe I should just swallow the bitter pill and acknowledge that in life there’d always be assholes who get ahead of you and assholes who put you down, but what matters most is that I earn my keep, so the only other thing I need to keep up with is my growing kids, the hubs and my family and friends.