Keep walking

I went on a much needed #jailbreak yesterday and decided to surprise the little boss in school by picking her up.

I was expecting her to run excitedly towards me when she saw me at the gate, like she usually would in the past.

But nope, she was happy to see me but walked calmly alongside her Chinese teacher to the gate.

Hmm. So grown up? 😢

And then she started pulling this toy out from her bag and told me how much she liked it and would like to hold it on her way home lol.

We walked to the mall to buy bread before walking home.

I think it was a good 30 minutes altogether, and she did not ask to be carried. I was carrying her school bag and sleeping bag, and told her she had to walk with me, holding my hand.

She was in a happy mood, but when we got to the lift lobby, she suddenly turned to me and said:

“Wah, Mummy. I cannot concentrate already. I walk until I’m so tired, but I’m still walking.”


I told her, well that’s good for you. Practise for Taiwan ok?

(I immediately texted the hubs what she said lol so this quote is as accurate as it can get.)

I guess this counts as another of her #clarissawisdom quotes, almost similar to her famous “give her a kiss” advice.

I’ve been feeling quite stressed by Allie’s milk strikes.

For the past 5 days she has been going without milk for 12 hours straight, rejecting the 12am dream feed and the 5am/6am morning feeds.. Even though she clearly woke up because she was hungry. She’d grab my hand and try to eat it.

So yesterday I ordered organic rice cereal and organic food jars for her, and headed out to get a new bowl and spoon for her, as well as a very small tin of milk powder from another brand.

I need to rule out all the possibilities.

The strike continued this morning, at 4am. She woke up and was unable to resettle herself to sleep.

She was sucking her fist (And later on, mine) really hard, but protested and cried so badly when I tried to give her milk.

And just like that, 2 bottles of milk went to waste.

But at least, I guess, I now know it’s not the formula, which we’ve not changed since birth, that’s causing the strike.

I think something is wrong, that a(n almost) 5mo goes 12 hours without milk, and her total intake for the day has gone as low as 500ml on a bad day and only 600ml on a better day.

How is this enough?

I’m at my wits end, to be honest.


Anyway I got my act together this morning, took out my computer to work at the dining table while watching her play in the play pen.

She was flipping around, grabbing toys and chuckling.

Until I started playing some sad songs the hubs shared with me yesterday.

She suddenly went quiet and just lay in the corner of the playpen, listening.

So emo. 😅😂

So I stopped the sad songs and went to take a look at her.

Still my happy baby!

She immediately lit up and resumed all her kicking and gesturing.

She’s still very cheerful.. But definitely less chubby.

I’m still not sure what I can do, but I guess I’ll take her sister’s advice.

Just keep walking. Keep walking.

I had a productive morning clearing mails, filing tax, and cleaning up my personal mail box.

Unsubscribed to nearly all the shopping and travel websites.

I don’t read most of them anyway, but they are a distraction because I feel disturbed about the 1000++ unread emails.

I guess this is a good first step to getting back into the groove again.