Me time lunch time.

A quick one though, since it's already 1230.

Like a true blue introvert, more and more, I prefer lunching alone.

Just me, the food and the phone.

I was thoroughly exhausted yesterday after a long day at work, and then I picked the boss up, continued working, fed her, bathed her, folded laundry, etc etc.

Yesterday she moved her little chair to the study room to sit beside me. 😂

Followed me everywhere I went, one hand attached to my tshirt.

And refused to let me take a shower.

She's having constipation again.

Sigh so now my mom has also witnessed how she cries and becomes a different person when she's trying to poop.

Like what my dad and fil have already seen.

They all mean well and do not want to see her in pain.

But they don't know that it's not like I can force her to sit on a potty or make her squat down. It's not like I don't know what kind of diet helps her bowel movement.

If I could do anything to take away her anguish of trying to poop, I would.

But she is 2.5 years old.

She becomes an angry mimosa (erm, touch me not) when she tries to poop.

She tells me it's very painful and does not want me, or anyone, to touch her.

All I can do is to sit beside her and offer her a towel, but essentially it's like her own battle.

The ex helper made the mistake of opening her legs to dig out her poop when she was younger and had the same issue of constipation.

We saw the PD and had since told her not to do that.

It had resulted in tear and bleeding, which went away after a while, but kept coming back.

I have no doubt it hurts, and I understand why she throws all explanation and instructions out the window when she's struggling to poop.

On one hand, she wants it out. But on the other hand, it would hurt so badly when it comes out.

As a result, she poops standing with her legs squeezed tight together.

After each successful attempt, she'd become her usual cheery self again and tell me she's sorry, next time she will squat down so the poop will come out more easily.

So it's not like she doesn't know.

She does, but she can't control her reaction when she is in pain and in fear.

She's been taking lactolose on advice of her PD, to soften her stools so pooping becomes easier, and hopefully the phobia of pooping goes away.

It's taking a long time to take effect, and I know we probably have to do more, or do something different.

I just don't know what it is.

(As usual, I can't believe I can write so much and get so emo about poop. 😂

I'm exhausted.

It's very stressful and disheartening watching your child cry like there's no tomorrow while you can do nothing to help.

Every. Single. Day.

Even more so when people around you tell you, "Cannot let her stand!", "TEACH HER!", "Give her the potty!".. etc etc etc.

I want to say TGIF but it looks like a very long weekend ahead.)

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