It's a brand new day with brand new socks!
Our little boss modeling with poses taught by Daddy. 😂
She loves the Mickey Mouse socks and I'd originally picked a more subtle Mickey Mouse t-shirt to go with it.
But she told us she wanted to wear another Mickey Mouse t-shirt and after a few rounds of "Is it this one? Or this one?", she said it's "This one!"
Ah, similar color, and polka dots. 😁
She hasn't worn this t-shirt for some time now so I wondered aloud if it'd still fit her.
As I was putting it on for her…
👶: I can wear! It's not tight!
After putting on her shoes, she stood beside me as I put on my plain white socks.
👶: Mummy's socks no Mickey Mouse!
👧: Oh yes, there's no Mickey Mouse on my socks. Clarissa, can you give me your Mickey Mouse?
👶: (Thinks hard) I buy Mummy a white Mickey Mouse!
That started a buying spree.
As we walked towards the car, hand in hand, she said to me, "I buy Daddy a reylio for his car!"
👧: Do you mean radio?
👶: Yes! I buy reylio for Daddy!
👶: Reylio! It's reylio!
We are now starting to mentally prepare her for full day school.
So far we've tried a few different angles but her answer is a clear no.
👧: Clarissa, do you like your friends?
👧: Do you want to drink milk together with them before you take a nap?
👶: No, I want to drink milk at home in my bed.
And this morning..
👧: Clarissa, do you want to take shower together with your friends?
👧: But you can play with them while waiting. Why not?
👶: Because I want to bathe at home with Yaya.
(Disclaimer: They don't bathe together! 😂😂 Yaya takes shower for her after she comes home from school.)
👧: Clarissa, do you like going to school?
At least it is a nice, resounding yes. 😁
Yay to proper breakfast.
And time to put yesterday behind us.
Not particularly hungry, but I came out for me time lunch time anyway.
I'm probably one of those few weirdos who actually enjoy eating alone. But then again, see my handle ☝for reference.
As we lay in bed last night, one fuming and one in disbelief, I said to the hubs, "Oh, I must share with you my all time favourite quote."
It still is, and I think very applicable for our situation.
What we thought would be a closeout session with her turned out to be a blowout – accusatory (her, not us) and defiant (her, not us).
I genuinely thought the better of her, that she'd feel at least slightly apologetic towards us, and tell us properly, for the last time, what went wrong with her.
But it turned out to be all our fault.
That she hated the hubs for asking her to go to sleep, at 1130 or sometimes 12am, when her happiness comes from using the phone after Clarissa sleeps.
That we do not give her privacy at all, because we try to limit her phone time.
That we are so stingy, because we look at the receipts after she buys something.
Perhaps all these came out of her mouth without passing through her head, or heart.
Perhaps it is just that she is easily influenced by what her friends say.
We are too strict because we stop her from using the phone.
We are stingy because we look at the receipts.
But what about the fact that she's been falling sick very often, and needs rest? (OK maybe all fake, who knows?)
What about the fact that she's so tired during the day she actually hides in the toilet to sleep.. for TWO hours?
What about the fact that we've looked at the receipts to simply see what has been purchased but have never, ever counted the cash that's left over or topped up, openly lying on the shelf?
That we checked the receipts so that we could reimburse the amounts she spent on buying personal care or food items for herself?
And on "privacy", what about the mornings when Clarissa's in school? The afternoons she naps away? The times I asked her, please you can go out, go to church, please go?
Suddenly nothing we did mattered to her.
The things we bought for her, like the mp3 player, the radio clock, my Christmas gifts to her kids.
They are not important, she said. I've never asked for them. And besides, if you give people something you should never count it. (I think she meant calculative.)
All she needs is privacy and happiness from using the phone.
So that's it, people.
It's a joke.
The next time you happen to hire a helper, all she needs is the phone. The phone. The phone.
At this point the hubs was fuming and looking like he was about to hit someone, a sight I have not seen for a while.
He's mellowed a lot over the years and it takes a lot to work him up like this.
Because he genuinely cares.
He genuinely treats her like family.
Only to get the response, "But I don't treat you like my family. I'm not your family. I'm just a maid. That's a maid's life."
I have so much to say, like the times I stood up for her, and defended her against my own mother.
That I said to my own sister, maybe it's better for you to move out.
Yes, I did it for Clarissa's well being.
But yes, I also did it because she came to me crying and I felt bad to subject her to such situations.
But then again, if you do something for someone, you shouldn't mention it. You shouldn't count.
So I've lost count.
We are not expecting anything in return.
But just, kindness.
And basic respect.
The same way we've treated her.
In a way, there was no closure.
We did not get the kindness and respect we sought for.
But in another way, that was the closure.
Let's not waste another thought, another breath, another emotion on someone who does not deserve it.
Let's be indifferent.
Today is a new day.
It's the day we finalise our plans moving forward.
We will not stop being kind to people, just because one person out of many in the universe decides to be ungrateful.
There is a lot of kindness in this world.
Friends who have texted me offering help, going the extra mile; friends who console us and tell us we deserve better; family who is on the standby to help us.
We may not deserve all of it, but we are extremely grateful.