Every night, when it's time to get wiped down and changed, she does everything else but.
She'd try to hide in the tent..
Or suddenly feel the need to paste her stickers.
Or walk around.
I've been trying to teach her to acknowledge her anger or frustration by saying she's angry, instead of lashing out and saying things like "Don't want XX!"
I think she understands what I'm trying to say, but it's not easy for her to stop to process her feelings before she reacts to something.
Last night when we were trying to get her changed, she was trying to get away and we ended up almost having to grab and hold her to remove her clothes.
She suddenly paused, put her hands on her waist, frowned slightly and said to us:
And then she laughed like she'd just made a joke.
We laughed too.
I asked her what she was angry about, but she only smiled sheepishly and let us change her into her pyjamas.
Is she trying to practising what I said to her? Or just testing water?
She's also been telling us adults not to talk.
Sometimes it's because she wants our attention (but we are talking), sometimes it's because she wants some quiet time.
This morning, while driving her to school, the hubs and I were talking about our plans for the weekend. She was trying to tell me about a bird flying outside the car.
"No talk!" She said to us.
"Clarissa, Daddy and Mummy are talking. Can you please give us two minutes?" I said to her.
"Cannot talk!" She emphasised her point.
"I know you want to say something. You should say, 'excuse me, can I say something please?' instead of telling us not to talk," I told her.
So she kept quiet and we carried on with our conversation.
Less than a minute later, she said to us:
"Yes?" We asked her.
She started giggling and said, "Excuse me? Excuse me excuse me!"
We kept asking her what it was about, but she merely giggled and repeated her excuse mes.
This evening the hubs and I spent time playing with her.
She wanted me to do something with her, but the hubs tried to help her instead.
She got angry and lashed out at the hubs.
"Don't want Daddy!" She said.
Daddy obviously got upset and said, "Fine, I'll go back to my room."
She looked guilty but carried on playing.
I told her Daddy is upset and it's because of what she said to him. I reminded her about what I said to her the night before, that she can say she's angry but she should not say things like "Don't want Daddy".
I asked her to say sorry to Daddy.
She stood up immediately and ran into our bedroom.
Daddy! Hey! Daddy!
I heard her say in a very giggly tone, like she was trying to lighten the mood.
"Yes?" I heard Daddy ask her what she wanted.
"Sorry," She said, actually meaning it.
Of course, Daddy accepted the apology and she ran off to play after giving him a high five.
I can't say I'm proud of her for knowing how and when to say sorry, because it's weird to be proud of something like this. 😅
I guess she's learning to deal with her emotions and hopefully also learning how to tell right from wrong.
I wish she can be more consistent and in control but as it is, some days she's best friends with Ah-gong but some days she doesn't want to be friends with him.. and we don't know why.
Same Ah-gong and same weather, but Clarissa is in a different mood.
Likewise, some days she "Don't want Yaya / Mama / Baba", some days we are her best friends.
I know this is part of her trying to exercise her independence, and trying to have a stand (Which is by saying no to someone or something), and I guess it's part of growing up and why terrible twos are called terrible twos.
I think she's a pretty sensitive and perceptive child, which is probably related to her cautious nature in general, and that to me, means she can be reasoned with.
It takes time and patience, so I'll keep on reasoning with her, and have fun while I'm at it. 😅😁