18:18

I'll start today's entry with a few photos from last night.

The hubs had just finished dinner and was sitting on the floor with his legs stretched out, watching TV.

The little one, who was zooming around the living room, stopped in her tracks, adjusted herself backwards and sat down conveniently on her Baba's legs like it was a bench.

We were very amused by her and she was very amused by us.

I asked her to let me take a picture and she did this. 😂

I found this artistic photo in my phone this morning. It was taken by Clarissa when she was running around the house in her new squeaks, I mean, new shoes, while holding onto my phone.

She's outgrown her shoes again and one side has a hole now. 🙊🙈
We are so frugal she wears only a pair of shoes at any one point. 😂

She's now upgraded to size 5. The toddler 18-24m range from the usual (and only) shop I go to no longer fits her.

This new pair is from the same brand but a different range.

The shoes come with the squeaky sound that she's so delighted by. She'd deliberately run quickly in them or step on them with a certain rhythm. So funny to watch.

I asked the hubs to remove the squeaky sound and insert the stoppers. He did that and put on the shoes for her again.

She looked so confused! 😂
Frowned and kept looking down at the shoes trying to figure out where the sound had gone to.

Sorry honey, it's too noisy. #assholeparent

Everytime I buy her a new pair of shoes, I feel like she's really growing up.

Time flies so quickly, too quickly.

It has been a really hectic week and I find myself falling asleep in record speed (something like 50:39s lol) right after I say good night to the hubs.

Of course, that's after a long day at work, spending time with the little one after work, and making her sleep.

There is a lot of narrative going through my head (and in my dreams) but I have no time to write it down properly.

I know the trend these days is to catch Pokemon, but really all I want is to catch some sleep. 😂

I have a business trip this coming week. Flying out on Sunday night and flying back Thursday midnight.

I dislike red eye flights but I think I shouldn't waste time traveling during the day time. It'd be nice to get home by 6am and be able to send Clarissa to school, catch up on some sleep and then pick her up from school.

23:21

Dayre time!

The little one took an epic 4 hour nap since 230pm today and hence took a long time to fall asleep.

I managed to catching the really exciting Lee Chongwei vs. Lin Dan match. Really nail biting!

Love how he switched from his usual stoic, almost expressionless look to pure jubilation when he won that 22nd point. It was like he'd already won the Gold medal when it was really just the semi finals with his arch rival.

I love the camaraderie between the two men.

Of goals and dreams

While Singapore is still reeling from the success of Joseph Schooling with all the celebrations and stories of love, grit and conviction, I had the chance to do an on-boarding with a new hire who joined my extended team.

She's Singaporean, a fresh graduate from one of the local universities, very young (obviously), smart (because she passed the internship), and very bubbly.

A day ago we had lunch together with a bunch of folks from our function, all of us from one of the ASEAN countries.

She asked if all of us joined around the same time. The range around the table was between 3 to 5 years.

So I swallowed and said erm actually I'm been with the company for 9 years already. Her expression was priceless. 😂

To her credit she said I look young but I think her gasp was because she couldn't imagine anyone doing the same job for so long.

The next day as we went through the on-boarding, I showed her learning plans and told her it's part of our job to be able to know which methodology works best to answer a certain type of business question.
I told her it's all part of building mastery.

She looked at me, all bright eyed and incredulous, asked me, "So which ones are you a master of?"

That stumped me a little, because I've not quite thought about that.

I think I said something like, you just need to learn along the way.

She asked me another question, "If I stayed for as long as you do, does it mean I'd be a master like you?"

I continued to be stumped by her question. I think I said something along the lines of.. "it depends.." 😂

We started talking about finding what motivates her, what she wants to do.

"So what are your life goals?" She asked me.

This time, I was more than a little stumped. I was.. very stumped. 😂😂

I thought about it, and realised I have never really thought about it.

I mean, at least not recently.

When I was young, I wanted to be a teacher.
And then I wanted to be lawyer.
And then I wanted to be a journalist.
And then I wanted to be a writer.

But what are my goals?
Actually I don't know.

So I told her very truthfully that I probably do not have one.
All that matters to me is that I'm learning something everyday and making an impact, however small, everyday.

It's a personal choice, how driven I want to be. I can choose to open my computer again after my daughter sleeps, or I can choose not to.

She considered it and said, "Yah true. Oh my god there're so many things to do. Really 死掉." 😂😂

She might sound a little brash in words but I actually enjoyed talking to her. I think she meant what she asked, not to challenge but to really ask a question that is genuinely important to her.

Ideals and life goals.

I don't think the 23 year old me was ever as cheery and optimistic because by then I'd ruled out all my childhood ambitions and went for the pragmatic.

I was happy to have joined the current company, still am, and I enjoy what I'm doing.

That's all.

It has been a really hectic year.

Lots of traveling, lots of drama, lots of new challenges.

Not all good, not all bad.

But I've learned so much as a mother, a wife, an employer, an employee, a manager, a sister, a daughter..

But as an individual, as "me", perhaps not as much, perhaps all these roles already define who I am.

I don't know the answer and I might be too bogged down by the daily craziness to think through these.

But still, I appreciate that conversation, on a seemingly endless Wednesday morning.

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